Like is the case with any relationship, partners looking for couples counseling in Omaha often have problems with getting into fights.
These can escalate into name-calling, dragging up old grievances, getting defensive and a slew of other ways of keeping each other from resolving issues. Lingering anger and resentment, illnesses, communication problems, sexual and monetary issues can all make relationships hard to stick with. Couples often both end up being right (or thinking they are both right) but most couples don’t know how to move beyond the impasse of both being right.
Can You Just Talk to One Another? Avoiding Couples Counseling
A Good Talk With One Another
One of the things that happens with successful couples therapy is that the couple gets better at talking to one another. They comment in the session spontaneously that they have done it more during the week. Sometimes that is accompanied by them touching each other a bit more during the week also. Being able to talk to one another is a sign of getting along. Being able to talk to one another means it is often (but not always) easier for the couple to talk about difficult issues and get through their issues to resolution more of the time. Being able to talk to one another means you might be getting close to being done with couples therapy.
Making Things Worse Is Not a Good Plan
Not being able to talk to one another is how many couples come to couples therapy, that is, there are one or more topics that they can’t talk about without escalating to a verbal fight with no resolution. If a couple is still having arguments where they are “throwing gasoline on the fire,” they are not ready to stop the couples therapy. When either adds to the argument in non-constructive ways, they are not done with their work. Oh, one partner could say something not so nice that adds to the heat (but not the resolution) and if he or she immediately apologizes, perhaps they couple will be able to proceed with the discussion. One of the partners working hard and being successful at not adding to the problem changes the argument. When one of the partners keeps making it worse, it often stays worse. Both adding to the problem often causes both to wonder about staying together.
Maybe It Is Time to Change, for the Better
So, it may be time for you to look at what you do that makes it more difficult for you and your partner to have a talk with one another that leads to resolution or where both people feel heard. It is probably time for you to look at what you do that “throws gasoline on the fire.” Taking your anger out on your partner through an argument is almost always counter productive. Stopping your own problematic behaviors is the royal road to a better relationship.
Couples Omaha – Dr. Robert G. Kraft – Licensed Psychologist in Omaha, NE
Dr. Robert G. Kraft is a career psychologist in Omaha, NE. He earned his doctorate, as well as his bachelors and masters before that, from the University of Nebraska at Lincoln, and has practiced in Nebraska ever since.
As well as maintaining his practice, Dr. Kraft is an Associate Clinical Professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the Creighton University School of Medicine, where he teaches residents about psychotherapy.
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